📸: Kuta Utara, Bali, Indonesia (July, 2017)
Healing My Fear of Water
Who knew that I had such a great fear of water? Certainly not I! Well, there was that one time in ‘89 where I almost drowned at Belmar Beach on the Jersey Shore buuut, that was so long ago, I really thought I was over it.
I never was one to get excited about going swimming, though I have had opportunities all of my life, whether at the Jersey Shore, YMCA or summer camp. I would just go, hang out around the sides, get in a quick cannon ball
belly flop and call it a day. As I got older, I just lounged pool and sand-side, working on my tan.
My Southeast Asia trip was all about me being flexible, trying new things, trusting my Instinct Intuition and Intellect – to delve into places in my heart long forgotten. Now, for the record, I am pretty much happy-go-awesome most of the time, I have forgiven everyone I needed to, sorted thru all hurt, trauma and grief so I thought I was good…until – this dang dis-ease in my body started flaring up like never before. That was my indication that I still had some work to do. After doctors and healers were unable to make much of an impact, I knew I had to go in…check this thing out for myself. Tap into the fact, that my body is equipped to heal itself.
Western culture doesn’t promote that our bodies are so amazing that with the right information, we can slow down the progress of and even prevent dis-ease and ultimately heal ourselves. Now this approach, may take longer and requires us to dig-deep, which can be tough. As I shared, HERE, most disease begins with unprocessed emotions and stress and eating the Standard American diet with no exercise, doesn’t help either.
So, since I was trying a new country, I decided to try a new approach – water flow therapy. In the photo above, I was being guided thru the water, supported by another patient and kind sister. Beforehand, I shared some of my thoughts on the genesis of my fear. She took me thru movements to help me become comfortable in the water, warm-up and let go of any fear during the process. The intention is to feel like a baby again, in your mother’s womb, buoyant, free-floating, growing, expansive, being in rhythm with the 80% of you that is made up of water.
Sounds awesome, right?! Well, yeah, just pump the breaks right there…every time she tried to take me under, my legs, jaw and entire body tensed up. Talk about scaaarrryyy! That reaction was so a part of my “issue”, I am a…a…a…
ok, just spit it out …CONTROL FREAK. There, I said it…
As an event producer for more than 20 years, I am used to having everything go on schedule, I know who, what, when, why, how and where at any given time. For years, family members have nicknamed me “Clipboard Cherry”!
Lesson: My fear of water isn’t so much about the water itself but more of the lack of control I feel when I am in it. So, looks like I still have work to do to relax, release, relate! That is my new test…cut down on resistance, trust GOD:ESS and just go with the flow!
Wish me luck!